Porch Potty: Rocky Adventure

I’ve been staring out the window for a great while now. The green yard is definitely in its prime, with the leafy texture coming right up to the edge of the patio. Just about every flower is in bloom and the old trees have begun dropping their seeds for next year.

That means only one thing- my yard is buzzing with life. In fact, a jolly little squirrel has been rushing back and forth in the yard all morning. His bright bushy tail wiggles above the grass line to let me know where he’s digging. He does not seem to have the slightest care in the world, wandering close enough to my window to spot me and offer a mocking “hello.”

Of course, all that does is drive me a little crazier than I was when I first spotted him. I lash out and tell him to scamper his fluffy tail right back out of my yard. His tail wiggles with delight, clearly understanding that I can’t give chase. And it’s all the old man’s fault.

He left early this morning to take care of some business that he clearly didn’t need my help with. I’m used to having the house to myself every now and again, but the problem is that he neglected to leave the doggy door open. While the current situation reminds me of this, it is the eventual need to take care of my daily business that will really bother me later on.

In fact, the need has already been building a secret desire deep in my belly. Sure I can hold it for a long time, but I haven’t had the opportunity since before bedtime last night. I hate to make a mess in my own home, but unless the old man shows up soon, we’re both going to have to deal with the consequences.

But that moment hasn’t arrived yet, and for now the yard wildlife preserve has my fullest attention. The squirrel continues to dig up my yard, probably looking for my treasure. Right now, he’s cold on the trail, but if left with enough opportunity, he’s bound to find some of my hidden goodies.

The vague sound of the old man’s car grabs my attention as I watch him pull up in the driveway. Whew, good thing he’s home. Inconveniently, the squirrel also notices the old man and flees to the far side of the yard- right where my treasure is buried. No! It wouldn’t have been that traumatizing if he hadn’t started tossing up the freshly dug dirt.

I rushed to the door and waited for the old man to open it. There would be no time to waste. Keys jingled for what seemed like a dog’s year before the door finally cracked open. I squeezed my head through, but my body was holding me back.

“Rocky!” the old man exclaimed in surprise, almost dropping his bag of groceries. He tried to stop me with his foot, but he was currently occupied with keeping his balance. I told him about the squirrel and how I had to go. He either understood what I needed to do or just gave up trying to stop a determined pup.

My body quickly followed my head and I leapt out into my yard. “The defending doggy cannot be stopped!” I challenged the invading rodent, trying to take care of my potty business while still keeping pursuit. (It’s definitely not as easy as it looks.) His bushy tail fluttered in the air and his eyes widened as big as the acorns he was carrying. Understanding the chase had definitely begun, he abandoned the treasure and made a mad dash for the fence. Quick as a cat, he was up on the ledge, chattering some very unkind words down at me.

“Hey!” Buck cried out from beyond my fence line, “Squirrel!” My friendly neighbor started trying to carry on a conversation with the invading critter, obviously completely lacking any understanding of what had been going on earlier. It didn’t matter, though. The invader had been subdued. Knowing he was outnumbered and outsmarted, the rodent fled the scene with his tail not so very bushy anymore.

“Hey, thanks buddy.” I called across the fence. “He’s been driving me acorns all morning.”

“Where’d the squirrel go?” Buck asked aloud, sounding a little disheartened, “I was gonna see if he wanted to get my Frisbee off the roof.”


Jason Duron is a short story writer and author of several fiction stories.  Curious and lovable as dogs can be, the Adventures of Rocky give you a chance to see daily life from a “dog’s eye view” and share in their thoughts.  Please enjoy, and we hope that you’ll feel free to comment and give us insight into your dog’s very own “rocky” adventures.

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