ROCKY ADVENTURE – Wet in the Woods

Porch Potty: The Adventures of Rocky

So now that I’m all wet, things don’t really seem to be that fun anymore. Sure I’m used to the occasional bath, which I assure you is not due for a few weeks, but this was terrible. I couldn’t feel the bottom and the water felt sticky. It was almost like I fell in a big tub of bubble gum, only this wasn’t the sweet flavor that the old man’s grandkids like to stick under the table.

I doggy paddled around trying hard to find some solid ground. I called for help, but if any were coming, I couldn’t see them very well. The itchy water was getting in my eyes and my nose was all wet. But I assure you I wasn’t scared.

That’s what I told everyone after the old man had scooped me out of the moon-pool. And if the moon is in that water, I’ll be sure to stay away from anything else it touches. I feel itchy, sticky, and pooped. All that swimming definitely gave me the workout of the week.

Now it’s time to shake it off. I grinned when everyone around me scampered away and tried to shield themselves from the dreaded doggy-drying technique. It always brightens my day, especially after I’ve been soaked down against my will.

I looked at Izzy, who did little more than hop around playfully while I shook off the wetness. Sometimes that young pup just about drives me crazy.

“You.” I growled. “You pushed me in.”

“Nope. No way. No I didn’t.” Izzy chanted and bounded over to Debbie, possibly seeking her protection from the fury I was quite capable of unleashing. Oh yes, I can be Super-Rocky when I need to. But, I couldn’t stay mad at him. After all, I did get him good last week. (I talked him into getting one of Debbie’s pies down off the table so we could eat it. Of course, I’m the master of the eat-n-run skill, so Izzy took all the blame.) This was just payback, and the game will never end. We’ll play tomorrow…or maybe even this very evening.

That’s when a crash of thunder struck and the night sky lit up. I expected a mad-veterinarian to reach up into the sky and howl at the moon like they do on the picture boxes. But the only thing that happened was more wetness. The rain started as quickly as the very flash that brought it, and now we were all very wet. And stinky.

Back inside, we huddled together close to the fire trying to dry out. My coat is thin and dries easily, while Izzy on the other hand takes forever to get back to normal. He’s been rubbing himself on the rug ever since we got back inside, but it isn’t the same as carpet or towels I guess. I’ve seen him after a bath, which is primarily spent jumping out of the bathtub and Debbie picking him up and putting him back in. That goes on for a while, but when it comes to drying off, all he does is scrub himself on the floor. I think it’s funny because it seems to completely contradict the purpose of taking a bath.

So, while I sit here by the fire, now very dry and getting somewhat toasty, Izzy is rubbing himself on the rug with little success. I may not even have to get him back, because he seems to be doing it all by himself. Even the old man is chuckling at Izzy’s silly performance.

“Hey, Izzy,” I interrupt his mad antics. “You want to know the story about that rug?” That definitely got his attention. Izzy loves a good story, but hates it when you know one but won’t fill him in on the details.

What? What is it? Oh, I think I’ll like it, do tell!”

Izzy was now under my spell. I rolled over and stretched my paws out towards the old man. He and Debbie were obviously enjoying their own stories while the drying continued. Sure I had my own to share, but not yet.

“Oh, I don’t think you’ll like it.” I sighed. “It’s boring and silly. Nothing special really.”

Izzy was getting a little frustrated. He started by asking what the story was about. But then he began demanding the story. Circling me and trying to annoy me into submission. Yaps, yips, and even yelps. Yes, it is the taste of sweet revenge, because unlike my dear Izzy, I have what is known as patience.

I could tell he was getting on the old man’s nerves, so It was time to finish the job.

“Okay, you really want to know?” I asked the whining pup. Everything stopped and Izzy sat at alert. He nodded affirmation like he was in the doggy marines. “Once upon a time there was a huge lion that went potty on a rug and a dog named Izzy rubbed himself all over it!” I was sure I had him good with that one.

Izzy heaved a sigh of dismissal as he rolled his eyes. “That’s ridiculous. Lions are native to the grand prairies on the continent of Africa, which is really far away from here. We’re in the forest. Silly story indeed.”


Jason Duron is a short story writer and author of several fiction stories.  Curious and lovable as dogs can be, the Adventures of Rocky give you a chance to see daily life from a “dog’s eye view” and share in their thoughts.  Please enjoy, and we hope that you’ll feel free to comment and give us insight into your dog’s very own “rocky” adventures.

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